


30 Minutes

by MichyStar



Category: Homestuck
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-06-25
Updated: 2012-06-25
Packaged: 2017-11-08 13:48:02
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,021
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/443837
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/MichyStar/pseuds/MichyStar
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Aradia encounters Equius in a dream bubble, and it doesn't go as she had originally expected.</p>
            </blockquote>





	30 Minutes

Your name is ARADIA MEGIDO and you reached GOD TIER quite some time ago.

It’s a wonderful feeling, being alive again, and you can’t help but find yourself giddy with joy about it. But you also have a job to do, and that’s the main thing you should be worrying about right now.

But what you’re most worried about right now is not passing out. You don’t know how long it’s been but so far, no Jack. And you know—you’re sure when you close your eyes he’ll come. But you can’t fight him if you’re tired now can you? After all you did promise your friends to hold him back when he came, so they could make their getaway.

“Sollux! I need you to do something.” You turn to face your friend, who is facing the other way. Even though he’s smart and pretty strong with his psionics, you can’t help but feel that small twang of worry for him. He’s barely alive, and he’s blind, yet he stuck with you to do this. You know he could probably handle himself—but, still—you can’t help but worry about him.

“Yeah, Aradia?”

“I’m going to take a short nap. Can you make a barrier around us, and wake me up in 30 minutes.” This is incredibly risky, what are you doing? You doubt you could even go to sleep with the bright rays of the green sun around you two.

“Ok.” He draws the ‘o’ sound out. You can tell he’s unsure about this as well. But you’re about to faint if you don’t get some sleep. Moving closer to him you watch as he struggles in making a barrier large enough for the both of you, but also strong enough for an attack. Once it seems he’s got it you lean over and kiss his cheek in thanks, and it’s only a few more seconds before you’re laying down and dead asleep.

. . .

God Tiers have the power to explore dream bubbles while asleep, you find out. You had seen one of your own—well not yours exactly—a while ago and had entered it just in time to see Jack destroying hundreds of Aradiabots, and you followed one when it disappeared and ended up crashing onto Alternia, not too far from your old alive self.

This time you see a multitude of possible dream bubbles to explore. You feel a bit awkward, just watching everyone move around, but one particular bubble catches your eye. Moving closer you see the familiar outline of a dark room, with robot parts piled high and posters of only the finest hoofbeasts adorning the wall. Your lips twitch into a tiny smile; this is obviously Equius’ dream bubble.

Your hand was in the bubble before you paused and reconsidered. What if it wasn’t Equius’ dream bubble, but Nepeta’s? She was his moirail after all. Unless they were both in the dream bubble like it had been with Dave and Tavros. You didn’t want to interrupt their moirail time, but you wanted to see Equius. There were a few things you wanted to talk to him about.

You float there for another minute before straightening up. You’re alive now, immortal! Besides, if all went right this talk wouldn’t take long.

You press the rest of yourself into the bubble, shivering at how cold the material was. As you had originally guessed you found yourself in the middle of Equius’ room, somewhere in his hive. Considering you were his server player you should remember where everything was, but after switching bodies and all you forgot that information, instead opting to remember more important things.

You float around the room for a while; now that you’re actually in it you can see things more close up. You look from the pile of robot heads (noting how some look like they were punched repeatedly) to the desktop, and finally to the—er.

You always knew he was into hoofbeasts and fine art, but this is just plain ridiculous. What’s worse, you can’t stop staring at them. Something about these damn explicit posters just catches the eye. Luckily the sound of a door opening pulled your attention away from the—uhm—art.

“Aradia?”

_25minutes._

Ah! Just the troll you wanted to see. Turning your body towards the door you can feel your mouth split into a large smile, and you wave. “Hey Equius!” He looks the same as ever—a few teeth missing, the broken horn, the same glasses and the sweat—but you notice with a sinking feeling in your gut the thin blue lines around his neck, and it’s then when you remember the only reason you’re seeing him right now is because he’s dead. Both him and Nepeta.

You push these thoughts to the back of your mind; determined not to let them get you down. “How are you?”

“Aradia? What are _you_ doing here?!” You can tell he’s angry—or upset—even though his eyes are hidden behind those shades. And then it’s with yet another sinking feeling you realize his eye couldn’t show much of anything, as they were clear, all color gone away with death.

“I’m visiting you obviously; I can leave if you want.” And it was true. If he didn’t want you then you would leave, it might be easier that way, seeing how just seeing those marks on his neck and knowing he’s dead is making you regret coming here.

“Oh—no it’s, it’s fine.” He looks exhausted, his usual perfect posture is slouched and for some reason this bothers you more than it should. When he doesn’t speak again you float closer to him, tilting your head.

“What’s wrong?” Maybe coming here was a mistake.

“You’re alive…”

And you remember the last time he saw you was when you were still in that robotic body he had made for you. You remember how the last time he saw you before he died you had blown up right in front of him, only giving Sollux a goodbye hug and slight warning of what was to come. You can only imagine how he must have felt after that. Your smile falters for a moment—but you regain yourself. “Yeah, I am. Amazing isn’t it? I can hardly believe it myself.” As if to prove what you’re saying you stretch your fingers and legs out hearing the satisfying crack of joints.

When he stays silent you start to worry even more. He’s just looking at you and not saying a word. You still want to talk to him, understand why he did the things he did in the game. Letting out a small breath you suggest the only thing you can think that may get the ball rolling. After all, you have only a little time.

“Want to go for a walk?”

_20minutes._

. . .

You’ve stopped floating and are now actually standing next to him as you two walk throughout his dream bubble. Once again you two are in an awkward silence. This time it is mostly your fault, you had asked him just exactly what had happened to him after you left and the story had shaken you, but you wouldn’t show it. Not now.

_15minutes._

The clock in your head is slowly counting down how much longer you have until you wake up. But you don’t want to wake up, not before you have a chance to talk to him. You can always come back another time when you’re asleep, but for some reason that option isn’t sitting with you well.

You’d better get things moving.

“Equius I,” he tenses when you say his name, but nevertheless he looks down at you as you two keep walking. You continue on, choosing your words carefully, knowing how he gets angry easily, “I’m still not all that happy with you. For the robot incident, I’m still not over it.”

This time he stops and tenses up even more. This is still such a sore topic with the both of you, but it had to be said. He mutters something that sounds a lot like ‘oh fiddlesticks’ and you can see the first few signs of him starting to freak out. The increased pace in breath, the awkward movements as if he doesn’t know whether to go left or to go right, and the sweat. Same old Equius.

“I figured you hadn’t. I thought I had already informed you of my…mistake in installing that chip. And as much as it pains me to say it I was wrong and you were right. I’m sorry.” He rushes all the words out in one breath and if you weren’t close to him you probably wouldn’t have understood any of that. He still isn’t calm though, in fact it looks as if he’s freaking out even more now. This is not what you wanted. So you reach out and place a careful palm on him arm, and when he flinches you give his arm a light squeeze.

“It wasn’t just wrong Equius. You forced me to have feelings for you, and after all I had been through too. It was rude, stupid, and downright inconsiderate. Did you ever—for a moment—stop to think how I would feel about it?”

“Of course I did; the chip was going to make you have flushed feelings for me—“

“— _Equius_.”  You sigh, holding up a hand to stop him from digging himself a deeper hole. “You need to remember Equius; I had just been through a lot. I was dead, a ghost for fucks sake, and just when I get the chance to have a body again it’s not even under my control. I trusted you and instead you betray me. I do feel bad about hitting you, but I had a very justified reason to. I’m sure someone of your rank could understand.”

From the way he looks down and puts his lips in a tight line you know you’ve won. But it sure as hell doesn’t feel like it. Did you sound rude? You were upset, who wouldn’t be? But you didn’t want to be straight up mean to him. If anything you considered him a friend, a difficult one but a friend none the less. When he finally speaks again it catches you off guard.

“I understand. I see the error of my ways, and I apologize.” It sounded forced and his voice caught on the ‘and’ but you knew he meant it. He was probably fighting himself on the inside like he did so often. His beliefs, ideals he had been raised with, where conflicting with his wants and needs. You didn’t deal with that type of issue often, if at all, but you felt that in a way you understood. You may not be like him and think like him, but a part of you _just gets it._ And that’s what’s so weird.

Your whole relationship with him is weird.

Squeezing his arms one last time you let go and look ahead.

_10minutes._

This time when you two walk in silence it’s almost comfortable. You got some (not all, you feel it’s too early to say everything you wanted to say. With Equius you need to go slow, give him time to adjust) thoughts off your chest and he said sorry. That’s what you came here for.

But now that that’s done and over with, will you leave? You have 10 more minutes until you wake up but you don’t have 10 minutes worth more of talking in you. Eh...At most maybe 5 minutes worth.

Equius on the other hand has different plans.

“May I ask you something?” His voice seems quieter than usual and that sets off alarms in your head.

“Sure, what is it?” You keep your pace, tone, and face steady, readying for whatever question he has prepared for you.

“What did that kiss mean?”

It’s a good thing being dead taught you how to keep emotion out of your face, if not you probably would be blushing and staring at him right now. Instead he’s the one blushing and staring at you.

What did that kiss mean? You replay the question in your head a few times. Just what did it mean? If you were honest with yourself it was a heat of the moment type thing. You were crushing his sweat stained shirt in your robotic hands, shaking him with all your might and slapping him. You were so angry, so pissed that you just flipped out. And before you knew it you had pulled him up to you so you two where face to face and you were screaming at him, cursing him and his ancestors for doing this to you.

And then you had kissed him. It should be simple, you kissed him and he kissed back, then you dropped him and went off to beat up some monsters that had started towards you guys. But now you find that you’re questioning your own actions. Was there meaning behind the kiss? Was it flushed or was it black? You don’t hate him, quite the opposite! You actually pity him a little. So was the kiss flushed?

This is all too much for you.

“I don’t know.” And that’s the honest answer. You don’t, and you may never will. That was the past you, the robot you. By now it’s as if she was a completely different person and when you think about it a bit more she was a completely different person. You’re you, not her.

You see his shoulders sag slightly at your reply and you feel guilty. You knew what it was like, having a flush crush on someone so this time you actually could relate to what he was feeling.

He straightens up again and when he speaks you can hear him attempting to hide the disappointment in his voice. “I see. That’s, unfortunate.”

That has you giggling. “Unfortunate? Really? You make it sounds like I’d win something if I became your matesprite.”

His cheeks quickly fill with his blood color and he looks at you sputtering a little, “I never said anything about becoming matesprites! I just desired to know what your feelings for me where. That’s all.”

It’s then you realize that even though he’s tall, strong, and old fashioned Equius is only 6 sweeps. He may appear older than most of the others, but he’s still a kid who’s hopelessly flushed for you.

_5minutes._

You laugh again and this time it’s true; no secret worry beneath it. He blushes even darker and becomes more flustered, “Stop laughing at me this instant!”

This just makes you laugh more. “Is that an order?”

“I—we are not going through this exchange again Aradia.”

“Why not? It was funny last time.”

“Are you suggesting you find pleasure in my missteps?”

“Ok you lost me.” Calming down your laughter you lean against him for a moment, not minding the slight sticky-ness of his arm from sweating earlier. You feel his muscles tense for what must have been the hundredth time tonight (today?) and then you feel him relax against you.

You pretend not to notice how his hand reaches for yours then falls back to his side after changing his mind.

Once again it’s silence between you two—it’s quickly becoming the norm you find—but you don’t mind. You actually realize that leaning against him is pretty comfortable. So comfortable in-fact you turn slightly so you’re just snuggled into his side. You hear and feel his sharp intake of breath and you wait to see if he’ll push you away or make a move. After another moments hesitation he carefully places his arm around your shoulders, holding you to his side.

You’re pretty sure you can get used to this feeling, and you smile lightly at nothing in particular.

_1minute._

The clock in your head ruins everything.

“I have to go now.” You let him keep his arm there for a moment before slipping away, taking a step backwards so you’re facing him. You can see the disappointment on his face, even if his cold dead eyes are hidden under his cracked shades.

_30seconds._

“Will you return?”

“I don’t know.” Your life seems to be full of I don’t knows right now. He gasps and when you look down you see that you’re becoming see through, just proof that you’re waking up and have to go.

_10seconds._

As you get lighter and lighter everything in your line of sight starts to become blurry. You can just make out Equius’ voice when he says—no—pleads with you.

“I still care about you.” And your chest hurts when he says that because you know it’s true. He’s flushed for you even after death. It makes waking up all that much harder. You open your mouth and find that now there’s a pressure on your chest, making it hard for you to get the words out without letting them crack.

_5seconds._

“I know.” Is all you manage to get out; then he’s gone.

. . .

You wake up to a hand on your shoulder and for one crazy moment your heart races, thinking somehow, someway, you were able to stay behind and Equius was here with you. Instead you open your eyes and find yourself staring into the eyes of Sollux.

When he feels you stir he grins; and your chest tightens. “Hey.”

“Hey. Nothing happened I’m guessing.”

“Nope, no Jack. How did you sleep? You were moving around a lot, did you have a nightmare?”

“Sorry. I’m fine, it was a nice nap. Now let’s get back to watching out for that monster.”

He chuckles and nods. “Yeah, lets.” And you see the light blue and red barrier that had protected you while you were asleep fall. He looks at you for another moment then turns his back on you. You two resume the positions you were in before you took a break.

It’s only when a cold wind blows over your shoulder—where his arm had once been—you decide that, yes, you will return. 


End file.
